15 July 2009

Evil Zionist chewing gum conspiracy uncovered

Hamas has unveiled a dark Zionist conspiracy that will rock the state of Israel to the core. It has tangible proof that Israeli intelligence services are supplying the Gaza Strip with chewing gum that boosts the sex drive in order to "corrupt the young,"

"We have discovered two types of stimulants that were introduced into the Gaza Strip from Israeli border crossings," Hamas police spokesman Islam Shahwan told AFP. "The first type is presented in the form of chewing gum and the second in the form of drops," he said.
Mr Shahwan said that it had detained members of a gang that helped to bring in the products."They admitted during the investigation they were linked to the Zionist intelligence services," he said.

One suspect said he had received the products from an Israeli intelligence officer at a cut-rate price "with the officer saying they did not want money, but to distribute the products among the young people of Gaza. The intelligence services are aiming to corrupt the young generation by distributing these products among students."

The story came to light after a Palestinian man filed a complaint that his daughter had experienced "dubious side effects" after chewing the offending gum... (presumably a cessation of periods and a swelling of the abdomen?)

The Israeli military in an official statement admitted that it had indeed been supplying the gum. “It had been our plan to subvert the youth of Gaza by having them spend their time in constant copulation. That way they would be too tired to bother us. Sadly Hamas has caught us red handed. We apologise humbly and will cease distribution forthwith.”

Off the record another IDF source said “At least they didn’t discover the porno ray

9 comments:

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Yeah. But where is that Israeli intelligence officer when you really need some of that miraculous gum?

jams o donnell said...

Where indeed Snoopy!

Sukhmandir Kaur said...

Now I've heard of everything, Wonder if it's the kind of gum that blows bubbles LOL (just wanted to see what you had up to day and glad I checked it out ;) What'll they think of next? Happy WW

Sukhmandir Kaur said...

I just had to tell my husband about your blog and he quipped "Make Love Not War" ROTFL
Guess someone finally decided to give that a try LOL

jams o donnell said...

Glad you like the story even if I did twist it a bit with some made up quotes at the end. Definitely far better to make love rather than war!

Kay Dennison said...

LOL What's next?

jams o donnell said...

The mind boggles Kay!

Welshcakes Limoncello said...

Ba gum, I thought thee was serious for a moment!

jams o donnell said...

But it's true Welshcakes... well a bit of it is true!