24 February 2010

When the Rapture is less a time of tribulation than a business opportunity


A little while ago Business Week reported on an ideal business opportunities for those who will surely be left behind once the rapture comes.

In the USA between 20- and 40 million—believe there will be a Second Coming in their lifetimes, followed by the Rapture when the righteous will be spirited away to a better place while the godless remain on Earth.

But their pets do not have souls and will not join their masters at the right hand of God (or wherever..) and this troubles many of the godly. So Bar Centre, a retired retail executive in New Hampshire, has started a service called Eternal Earth-Bound Pets that promises to rescue and care for animals left behind by the saved.

Promoted as "the next best thing to pet salvation in a Post Rapture World," the service has attracted more than 100 clients, who pay $110 for a 10-year contract ($15 for each additional pet.) If the Rapture happens in that time, the pets left behind will have homes with atheists.

Centre came up with the idea while working on his book, The Atheist Camel Chronicles, written under the pseudonym Dromedary Hump. In it, he says many unkind things about the devout and confesses that "I'm trying to figure out how to cash in on this hysteria to supplement my income."

Todd Strandberg, who founded a biblical prophecy Web site called raptureready.com that draws 250,000 unique visitors a month, agrees that pets are doomed. "Pets don't have souls, so they'll remain on Earth. I don't see how they can be taken with you," he says. "A lot of persons are concerned about their pets, but I don't know if they should necessarily trust atheists to take care of them."

One of Centre's atheist recruits is Laura. She has two dogs of her own and has made a commitment to rescue four dogs and two cats when—if—the time comes. "If it happens, my first thought will be, 'I've got work to do,'" Laura says. "The first thing I'll do is find out where I need to go exactly." The rescuers won't know the precise location of the animals until the Rapture arrives, at which time they will contact Centre for instructions. "I've got to get to [the pets] within a maximum of 18 to 24 hours. We really don't want them to wait more than a day." A day she believes will never come.

Centre doesn't think he will ever have to follow through on the service he offers. But he believes in virtuous acts. His Web site directs about $200 a month in proceeds from Google ads to food banks in Minnesota and New Hampshire. And to pet owners, he has already delivered something of great value: peace of mind, for just 92 cents a month. "If we thought the Rapture was really going to happen," Centre says, "obviously our rate structure would be much higher."

Haha. If only I thought of that. Perhaps it would need more Britons to believe in nonsense like the Rapture so a good hellbound atheist like me could make a few extra quids!

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

My goodness (or my badness perhaps I should say?) I find that marvellous Jams. To be able to cash in on such scarily popular irrational beliefs would make it so much easier for me to cohabit alongside them. I am off to think about business plans.

jams o donnell said...

How about a set of franchises Andrew?

beakerkin said...

Jams

I hope you have not allowed a certain
tuxedo cat to watch the news about the Orca in Sea World. It lucky for you that he is far too lazy to go beyond planning evil.

jams o donnell said...

I dearly hope so Beakerkin!

James Higham said...

Ah but that depends on whether you re a pre-tribber or a post-tribber.

susan said...

As a child I decided I wanted wanted to go to pet heaven. I haven't changed my mind.

jams o donnell said...

Hmm I'm damend either way James!

What a wonderful idea Susan!

SnoopyTheGoon said...

These believers in Second Coming - means they have already experienced the first one? Are they also for no sex before marriage or what?

Just asking.

jams o donnell said...

That's a good point Snoopy. Something that needs to be investigated